Friday, February 24, 2017

Dedicated to my children and grandchildren...all of them, with Love.

Click to hear Tracy Chapman sing her great song...

All That You Have is Your Soul, by Tracy Chapman

My mama told me
Cause she say she learned the hard way
Say she want to spare the children
She say don't give or sell your soul away
Cause all that you have is your soul

Don't be tempted by the shiny apple
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit
Hunger only for a taste of justice
Hunger only for a world of truth
Cause all that you have is your soul

I was a pretty young girl once
I had dreams I had hight hopes
I married a man he stole my heart away
He gave his love but what a high price I paid
And all that you have is your soul

Don't be tempted by the shiny apple
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit
Hunger only for a taste of justice
Hunger only for a world of truth
Cause all that you have is your soul

Why was I such a young fool
Thought I'd make history
Making babies was the best I could do
Thought I'd made something that could be mine forever
Found out the hard way one can't possess another
And all that you have is your soul

Don't be tempted by the shiny apple
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit
Hunger only for a taste of justice
Hunger only for a world of truth
Cause all that you have is your soul

I thought, thought that I could find a way
To beat the system
To make a deal and have no depts to pay
I'd take it all take it all I'd run away
Me for myself first class and first rate
But all that you have is your soul

Don't be tempted by the shiny apple
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit
Hunger only for a taste of justice
Hunger only for a world of truth
Cause all that you have is your soul

Here I am waiting for a better day
A second chance
A little luck to come my way
A hope to dream a hope that I can sleep again
And wake in the world with a clear conscience and clean hands
All that you have is your soul

Don't be tempted by the shiny apple
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit
Hunger only for a taste of justice
Hunger only for a world of truth
Cause all that you have is your soul

My mama told me
Cause she say she learned the hard way
Say she want to spare the children
She say don't give or sell your soul away
Cause all that you have is your soul

All that you have
All that you have
All that you have
Is your soul

Thursday, February 23, 2017

John is really grounded....

Click to hear John sing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp9dc9im3-M

Watching the Wheels, by John Lennon

People say I'm crazy
Doing what I'm doing
Well, they give me all kinds of warnings
To save me from ruin
When I say that I'm okay, well they look at me kinda strange
"Surely, you're not happy now, you no longer play the game"
People say I'm lazy
Dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice
Designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall
"Don't you miss the big time boy, you're no longer on the ball?"
I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
Ah, people ask me questions
Lost in confusion
Well, I tell them there's no problem
Only solutions
Well, they shake their heads and they look at me, as if I've lost my mind
I tell them there's no hurry, I'm just sitting here doing time
I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go
Written by John Lennon • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group, Downtown Music Publishing

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Click here for David Brooks latest on... 

"What a Failed Trump Administration Looks Like",
nytimes.com, 2/17/2017, sorry for the delay, medical issues.


                               Pablo Picasso, Massacre in Korea, 1951

===============================================
"What a Failed Democratic Party Looks Like"...

Click here for "Keith Ellison endorsed by former rival in DNC"
David Weigel, Washington Post, 2/18/17

Give Trump What HE Wants...A Crusade, A Jihad....
                                    

                     Pablo Picasso, Guernica.

Stop the madness and rush to chaos...Sorry Bernie,
Please support Tom Perez as DNC Chairman.

Click below to read Wikipedia.org article on Tom Perez:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Perez

Click below to read Wikipedia.org article on Keith Ellison:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_Ellison

Thursday, February 16, 2017

This post is dedicated to Elise and Aaron, Ben and Sandy, Tina and Richard,

George and Sandy, Julie and Barton, David and son Jacob, Susan and Thomas, Diane and Tim, and the rest of the close, essential and very helpful support team of Dot and Dr. Guay and others I may have forgotten....


"Thank you, and God Bless You All"

Click Here to hear Neil Young sing "From Hank to Hendrix"


"From Hank To Hendrix"

From Hank to Hendrix
I walked these streets with you
Here I am with this old guitar
Doin' what I do.

I always expected
That you should see me through
I never believed in much
But I believed in you.

Can we get it together
Can we still stand side by side
Can we make it last
Like a musical ride?

From Marilyn to Madonna
I always loved your smile
Now we're headed
for the big divorce
California-style.

I found myself singin'
Like a long-lost friend
The same thing that makes you live
Can kill you in the end.

Can we get it together
Can we still stand side by side
Can we make it last
Like a musical ride?

Sometime it's distorted
Not clear to you
Sometimes the beauty of love
Just comes ringin' through.

New glass in the window
New leaf on the tree
New distance between us
You and me.

Can we get it together
Can we still walk side by side
Can we make it last
Like a musical ride?


from...
The Duro-Raft, A Psychotic’s Journey


By John G. Margoles

Chapter Six


The Forks in the River


I assume that by now you’ve run off and tried out your new Duro-Raft, and now that your feet are wet, it’s maybe a good time to really consider your route down the River of Life.  As you may have already encountered, there are many forks in the River of Life where you have to decide which way to steer your raft.  The introduction to the Owner’s Manual may have glossed over this problem with its magical “general direction.”

Actually your general direction is only that, general.  On your journey down the river, in fact each foot of the way, you are constantly required to steer your raft this way or that.  You are making a lot of little changes in direction, or decisions that somehow combine to form a general direction.  It’s sort of like a maze, where you kind of know where you’re heading, but you don’t see it and you have to keep moving.  Or do you…

At this point, it seems good to introduce two very common navigational practices for your consideration.  The first is called Whirlpooling, and it works something like this.  As you are approaching a fork in the River Life, and are contemplating which route to take, you first tend to slow down.  At that point, if a decision is not forthcoming (as may often be the case at some of Life’s larger forks), it seems wise to begin Whirlpooling.  In Whirlpooling, you sort of hang back from the fork by steering your raft around and around in gentle little circles.  In this fashion, the current of life goes past, as usual, but you sort of gain some time.

This is a very sound navigational practice if used in moderation.  The danger lies in excessive use of Whirlpooling.  If you keep going around in circles too long, the whirlpool effect will tear at your raft, and as time goes on, it can destroy your raft and plunge you into the water suddenly.

An added danger here is that for some unknown reason, those wild dragons can sense where a whirlpool is building;  usually, if a whirlpool topples a traveler, the dragons are waiting close by.

This leads to the second navigational practice that can be used judiciously at Life’s Forks.  After a moderate amount of Whirlpooling, and it’s up to each traveler to sort of sense the limits of is Duro-Raft, it may be necessary to resort to Grounding. 

Grounding is probably the most helpful navigational practice that you can master, for no matter what they say about “he who hesitates is lost,” it is clear that God put those sandbars and sandy beaches along the River Life for a reason.

Grounding is simply doing what the name says.  All it takes to ground your Duro-Raft is to pull out of a whirlpool, steer your raft to some sandbar or beach, and stretch out.  It’s as simple as that.  Yes, with all the currents and the waves and the splashing, it’s sure nice to know that God has so designed the River Life that we can simply get out and get dry anytime we want.

Once you are grounded, the current of life is still going past as usual, but who cares.  You  are on a journey, not in a race.  And if you want to sit on the beach and look back over your course, or look ahead at that large fork in Life River, then it’s certainly your god given freedom to do so.  When you’re grounded, you tend to fully examine your general direction, and this type of an overhaul takes time and patience.  Here, as in any complex process, haste makes waste.

When a traveler decides to ground his raft, almost all his fellow travelers become somewhat concerned.  It is a sad truth that a small percentage of grounded rafts never return to the River Life.  In the process of overhauling their rafts, some people decide it’s not really worth the effort, and they sort of clam up on the shore forever.  These travelers may also become crabs.

Usually, when a traveler resorts to grounding, those that want to travel together with the grounded raft become very impatient.  They often stay out in the river, doing whirlpools, urging the grounded raft to come along.  If the rafts have been very close and have journeyed together for a long time, it becomes even more complex.

Being strictly grounded can be somewhat boring, and really you can’t find your new general direction by just sitting on the sand alone. So if it’s one of life’s really big forks, your grounding gets a little more flexible.  You can sort of set up a base camp on the shore, and take small sallies (Sallys) out in Life River to get close to others and in that way consider your general direction from a different perspective…

“Individual growth can’t take precedence over relationships; it can’t because it ceases to be growth in the attempt.”
-Hugh Prather

Many times when travelers take those little sallies, they see afresh the complexities that occur when rafts steers very close.  This can refresh, but also confuse and frighten.  Fear is common during periods of grounding anyway, and in fact any time we really examine our general direction.  Any direction you choose carries dangers; there are simply not totally safe routes down the River of Life.

Another important factor to remember is that in such a situation, it is only fair to give the grounded raft the time it needs.  Lots of thing happened to force a raft to ground itself; being grounded allows the traveler the chance to really look over their journey.  It is good to examine the past during grounding, and understand what has been pulling, through the whirlpool and to the shore.  All fellow travelers should respect a grounded raft and allow it the time it needs, and not pressure it to come back to the fork before it’s time.

Many anchors get thrown to grounded raft, to try and pull them along too soon.  If you have been traveling close to some raft, that raft may call out that they are drowning, to make you come and save them.  This can be a most complex situation, because we all despise drowning.  But there are many lifeguards along the River, and if you’ve gotten to the shore, it’s important to concentrate on your own Duro-Raft.

There are many truly complex decisions that you will face as you journey down the River of Life.  Grounding is probably the only answer in a tough choice.  Look back, and look at the fork, and do it again.  Then again.  Take mini-excursions; go back to base camp and reflect.  Look back, look at the fork, and do it again.  Let your fellow travelers all whirlpool for a while.  If they really want to travel with you, they’ll wait, and not pressure, and not drown, fer sure.

This decision date is past.  The next fork in the river is September 1, 2017.  All will be reconsidered anew at that time....The health insurance open enrollment period will be closer then, and the federal government may be close to settling on a workable "repair" to the ACA and/or Medicare.  Hopefully, the choices will be clearer then. and understood before a move to North Carolina...until then we persevere.   Love, Dad, John.



Saturday, February 11, 2017

Click here to listen to full album "Sweet Forgiveness"
by Bonnie Raitt

"These fragments I have shored against my ruins
Why then Ile fit you.  Hieronymo's mad againe.
Datta  Dayadhvam  Damyata.
Shantih  shantih  shantih."

--T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land

Basic Translation:

"Give  Sympathize  Control.
The peace that passeth understanding."

OM

"Behold, I send you forth as sheep among wolves, be ye therefore wise as serpents and innocent as doves."  

-- Jesus of Nazareth, in Matthew, of course.


Tuesday, February 7, 2017

"Where History is Being Made", by David Brooks, nytimes.com, 2/7/17.

Link to David Brook's op-ed in nytimes.com 2/7/17

So David, can you just tell me please: "Where should we move? We have narrowed it down to Dover, NH, Morgantown, WV, Gallipolis, OH, or Hillsborough, NC, the front-runner where we will see the grand-kids grow?"

I will need an answer soon, as the whirlpooling is getting stronger and more precarious...and this Duro-Raft, for one, is being pulled apart slowly but steadily in this, The Winter of Our Discontent.  Have you read that one?

I am trying to make light of this difficult time in our world, our nation, our brutal state, our dying, boarded-up city of Sanford, Maine. 

Go south, old man and woman.  But the heat?

"Alexa, play The Very Best of Dan Seals"

Music helps.  And praying.  

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Sunday 2/5/17, 2:45 AM.


Awoke to a terrible, head-pounding nightmare where I was with Edwin A., my boss here in Sanford for about 6 years.   We were working for the phone company down in Boston, delivering a cardboard box with a large package of Chinese explosive in it, and we were hopelessly lost somewhere in the big building, going from floor to floor on the elevators.  It was just like The Southern New England Telephone company, but it was a much bigger city, on Boylston Street.

I was told to guard the box, and had use a sharpie magic marker to write "Explosives" on the box, and I just remember amazing fear when I looked inside the box and saw the cellophane wrapped package with Chinese lettering on it, and the skull and cross warning of death.

I was going to meet Doris, my wife, somewhere outside the phone company, but as I mentioned, I was lost.  I was terribly lost, and afraid.  I was in the lobby, locked inside, unable to enter or exit.  Then I decided to use my handy jitterbug cell phone and called Doris, and she answered and we tried to arrange where she could pick me up.

I made it to the quiet street, and looked and waited for Doris to pull up soon.  The song "Big City" began to blare loudly in my head as I stood on the cold sidewalk, looking both ways in vain.  I had blurred vision as I awoke at that time, the words of the song loud in my brain, disoriented and unsteady on my feet, rubbing my one eye fearing that I had aggravated my Chalazion (inflamed oil gland) on my eyelid.  

I was learning fast that that was a dreadful nightmare, and that I had to listen to Merle Haggard sing the song "Big City".  So I washed my face, and peed, and went to sit in the living room, where I sat dizzily and weak, worried about the low blood sugar.

My commands to the Echo Dot were simple, "Alexa, play the song big city by merle haggard", and the song began.  I repeated it about 15 times, and listened over and again to the lyrics, and tried to figure out that damned nightmare, and what the hell was going on.

That Saturday I spoke with my son Ben and then my daughter Ellie, about possible move of Doris and me to North Carolina.  The great escape all over again.  Ben was being logical and persuasive, making on point arguments that logic could not refute.  I was confused as usual, and indecisive.  Just that morning we had called Gallipolis, Ohio Bob Evans Restaurant to see if they were still open.  They were open, and the decision was made to move to Gallipolis, our other home.

Then I read the newly minted on-line daily newspaper of the Gallipolis Daily Tribune, and found an op-ed by them that expressed their official "hope" that the new conglomerate that bought Bob Evans Farm would still stay there in Gallipolis and keep their farm in Rio Grande, their home nearby.  It was some new CEO with an Indian sounding name, who tried to reassure that they were going back to basics, "making good sausage."  The restaurants were being sold off to some management company.

So Gallipolis lost some favor, and we were headed to Wells to look at the ocean and pray, which is our most common activity.  Then Ben called, and the logical case was being presented.  North Carolina was a "no-brainer". He is right of course.  But the fear is enormous.  I get chills up my spine when I think of being engulfed by all their "great IBM shops" down there in Research Triangle Park, as unhelpful brother George pointed out at 10 AM on Christmas day.

I saw computers everywhere, and simply wanted the quiet, sedate Ashmont Street where it has been nearly twenty years of quiet and sedation, of all kinds.

But then Ellie called.  Whatever happens, I know I have to get to know her all over again, and learn her new name which is her old name -- "Elise".  Makes me think of Elise Piazza that wonderful first love of mine back in the 60's, after whom we named Elise Margaret Margoles, my wonderful newborn daughter back in 1975.  "Ellie" worked for all the time I knew her closely, when she was young.

Anyway, Elise simply spoke quietly, her baby was asleep and stirring to consciousness from a welcome nap.  She spoke so clearly of Hillsborough, and how it was a nice place to live...a walking path, a park, about 6400 people, only 20 minutes to Chapel Hill, two of my favorite grandchildren there and my daughter and son-in-law.  

She made me feel welcome.  That's it simply -- "Welcome."  I haven't felt "welcome" after 20 years in Sanford, where we have lived for 2 decades without a house guest coming into our home.  Where our only real friends, JoAnn and Zeke, up and moved or died over 15 years ago.  

Elise made me feel welcome.  Elise made me and Doris feel welcome.  And then I rested and went to bed early with Doris, to dream-think about the day..

Then the horrible nightmare about working with explosives with Edwin A, in that "Big City."  I know Research Triangle Park is a a "Big City", but also in the country.  A Place to Fall Apart?  Or a new home?  Family again?  New family?  Doris will be happy?  Can she leave her home here and her plastic Facebook friends?  Can we give up this comfortable home and start over?  What new doctors?  What new everything?  How the hell get there?  It is so far?  Fly?  Drive?  Trains?  

I just decided to let Doris sleep and not wake her up about the nightmare, as I sometimes do when the nightmares are this bad.  I decided to go to my blog, and write this post to my beautiful, bewildered grown children, and my four young grandchildren.

I love you all, and I love Doris.  I am terrified, but I Hope still.


Link to Youtube video of Merle Haggard singing "Big City"


Merle Haggard – Big City Lyrics

I'm tired of this dirty old city 
And tired of too much work 
And never enough play
And I'm tired of these dirty old sidewalks 
Think I'll walk off my steady job today
Turn me loose, set me free 
Somewhere in the middle of Montana
And give me all I've got coming to me
And keep your retirement and your 
So called Social Security
Big city turn me loose and set me free

Been working everyday since I was twenty
Haven't got a thing to show 
For anything I've done
There's folks who never work 
And they've got plenty
Think it's time some guys like me had some fun
So turn me loose, set me free 
Somewhere in the middle of Montana
And give me all I've got coming to me
And keep your retirement and your 
So called Social Security
Yeah big city turn me loose and set me free

Songwriters: HAGGARD, MERLE / HOLLOWAY, DEAN
Big City lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.
Several years ago, before their first son Ari was born, Ellie and her husband visited Maine and spoke fondly of Old Crow Medicine Show, and their great song "Wagon Wheel" about heading south to North Carolina.  I was happy for them, and envied their youthful optimism.  They drove in a light snow to stay at Robin's house in Saco, and I stayed up late worrying about them traveling that dangerous road to Saco at night in the snow.  But they made it, and the next day they came here and we saw them off on their return trip to North Carolina.  I kept playing "Wagon Wheel", and started to wonder about Hope.  I love Ben and Ellie all the bunches in the world, and I miss my grandchildren also.  I choose life.  The logistics are all that remain.  I am as terrified and overwhelmed as I have ever been, even after running away from New Haven and the Greeks.  I will go to Wells Beach today with Doris, look out across the ocean and stare at London in the distance and pray, and remember always the 20 years of lonely days of disability here on Ashmont Street.  I will pray for the answers and hope we all need.
Youtube video of Old Crow Medicine Show singing "Wagon Wheel"

Old Crow Medicine Show – Wagon Wheel Lyrics

Headed down south to the land of the pines
And I'm thumbin' my way into North Caroline
Starin' up the road
Pray to God I see headlights

I made it down the coast in seventeen hours
Pickin' me a bouquet of dogwood flowers
And I'm a hopin' for Raleigh
I can see my baby tonight

So rock me mama like a wagon wheel
Rock me mama anyway you feel
Hey mama rock me
Rock me mama like the wind and the rain
Rock me mama like a south-bound train
Hey mama rock me

Runnin' from the cold up in New England
I was born to be a fiddler in an old-time string band
My baby plays the guitar
I pick a banjo now

Oh, the North country winters keep a gettin' me now
Lost my money playin' poker so I had to up and leave
But I ain't a turnin' back
To livin' that old life no more

So rock me mama like a wagon wheel
Rock me mama anyway you feel
Hey mama rock me
Rock me mama like the wind and the rain
Rock me mama like a south-bound train
Hey mama rock me

Walkin' to the south out of Roanoke
I caught a trucker out of Philly
Had a nice long toke
But he's a headed west from the Cumberland Gap
To Johnson City, Tennessee

And I gotta get a move on before the sun
I hear my baby callin' my name
And I know that she's the only one
And if I die in Raleigh
At least I will die free

So rock me mama like a wagon wheel
Rock me mama anyway you feel
Hey mama rock me
Rock me mama like the wind and the rain
Rock me mama like a south-bound train
Hey mama rock me
Songwriters: JAY SECOR, BOB DYLAN

Wagon Wheel lyrics © DOWNTOWN MUSIC PUBLISHING LLC, BOB DYLAN MUSIC CO

  • ·

Friday, February 3, 2017


Dedicated to all my old bosses in the workplace:
"All the good ones are crazy" -- Terri D., my last boss,
at First Signature Bank and Trust,
John Hancock's subsidiary, do you see the irony?

Youtube video of Neil Young singing "Old King"




"Old King", by Neil Young

King went a-runnin' after deer
Wasn't scared of jumpin'
off the truck in high gear
King went a-sniffin'
and he would go
Was the best old hound dog
I ever did know.

I had a dog and his name was King
I told the dog about everything
There in my truck the dog and I
Then one day the King up and died.

Then I thought about
the times we had
Once when I kicked him
when he was bad
Old King sure meant a lot to me
But that hound dog is history.

King went a-runnin' after deer
Wasn't scared of jumpin'
off the truck in high gear
King went a-sniffin'
and he would go
Was the best old hound dog
I ever did know.

That old King was a friend of mine
Never knew a dog
that was half as fine
I may find one, you never do know
'Cause I still got a long way to go.

I had a dog and his name was King
I told the dog about everything
Old King sure meant a lot to me
But that hound dog is history.

King went a-howlin' after deer
Wasn't scared of jumpin'
off the truck in high gear
King went a-sniffin'
and he would go
Was the best old hound dog
I ever did know.